Why sharing Dreams can feel Vulnerable

surfer dream nightmare

Often times we wake up unsettled from an intense dream. Those dreams often come with an intimate symbology, something that touches us in uncomfortable places. We dream about violence, bloody murder, sexuality, genitals, kissing people we don’t like or doing things in the dream that in waking life would be considered unethical. The list of  topics that make us feel uncomfortable or vulnerable goes on and on.

It seems as if the dreammakers want to catch our attention with this sort of dreams. We wake up puzzled and ask “What the heck was that?”

The good news is that dreams talk to us in a symbolic way. A violent dream might not relate to a violent personality of the dreamer just as a  sexual dream might not relate to sexuality at all. It can, but of course does not have to.

Many times a murder in a dream points towards the ending of something. We might be ready to let go of an old pattern, a life phase or a destructive relationship (…). The psyche might express this desire to leave behind what does not serve us anymore through ‘killing’ it. So that turns everything around and makes it a pretty positive dream symbol, because we are ready to move on. We might have ended it right there in the dream! The subconscious worked through the issue until it was finished.

One day a friend dreamed about a betrayal. She dreamed about having sex with a surfer while being in a relationship. She felt so guilty that the police came in her dream to arrest her and her loved ones. It was a nightmare and left her puzzled even the following days! Turned out that she longed to unite with an energy of ease and tranquility, enjoying her life like a surfer, surfing the waves of life in harmony. Harmony with her emotional, mental and physical life.

Sex in this dream pointed towards the longing to merge and to become one with the young, sunny and fresh energy, the archetype of a surfer. It had nothing to do with an actual longing in real life to have sex with a surfer at all. In fact, she did not find surfers attractive.

Relaxing her mind and allowing herself to surf joyfully through life made her feel so guilty though, that she felt she would betray her surrounding by doing so. Eventually the inner judge, the critic, the police came to arrest them altogether.

These kind of dreams suggest to move on to the next step and not to dwell in the discomfort of the imagery. While transformation mostly comes with the pain of letting go or understanding a harmful pattern in ourselves, we are doing well in not holding on to it. Our nightmares might give us clear guidance on how to proceed after our psyche learned to abandon a pattern and usually we find a golden gem right there.

 

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